Slice of Life is a weekly event hosted by Two Writing Teachers.
"What identifies you?"
Who are you? When someone describes you, what do they start with? Are you the person that......? Are you the guy that always.....?
"Where is the girl with the leg?"
Two weekends ago my daughter had a swim meet. It was all weekend - Friday through Sunday - but she didn't swim on Saturday because it was her birthday. She had made the choice to do something else to celebrate {meet Lynda Mullaly Hunt, actually}.
On Sunday, her swim friends told her a story.
"Where is the girl with the leg?"
That's what they were asked by a swimmer from another team.
Of course, her swim friends knew who they were referring to, but their response was matter of fact.
"It's her birthday and she's not here today."
That was the end of the conversation and story.
To other people, that's who my daughter is. The girl with the leg. Yup, it's shorter than the other leg. Yup it has many many scars on it. Yup, her lower leg is thinner and her foot is smaller in size.
No, it's not who she is.
To me, she's a stubborn kid. She fights for what she really wants (usually a new song or app, not books, she knows mom has that covered). She's affectionate. She'll still hold my hand from time to time and expects a hug and kiss every night. She's someone who wants to be right all the time and it's hard for her to admit when she's wrong. No idea where she got that... For her, swimming centers her. She knows that about herself and because of that she always wants to be in the water.
If you ask her friends, they would say she's loyal. If you know she's your friend, she stays your friend until you don't want her (it happens). She's a hard worker. She does what everyone else does. She's silly. She plays and makes up stories.
Every four years, she has to leave for months and comes back with a longer leg, so yes, she is the girl with the leg. But even when she's gone, she's still that same kid that I see and her friends see.
Why do we see what is apparent on the outside and not wait and think about the inside? I ask that question even though I know I sometimes do the same thing.
Next time you find yourself doing that, ask, is that the girl with the leg? and then change the question. What is the story inside that girl? Is that the guy that has a story that is waiting to be told? I wonder what we find out instead.
Sometimes when I read someone's words, I wonder what they were thinking about a certain line. When you were talking about her friends' response, I wondered should they have said more, or do they not think about your daughter's leg as an issue and just stated the facts?
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful piece and I know your daughter is so brave, or as you put it - stubborn! Your words also have me wondering about the stories my students will have when I see them in a few weeks. I was looking at my list last night and I was already metaphorically naming some "the girl with the leg." I know that is wrong, but sometimes I think it is just who we are as humans. So, thank you for pushing me to think about their stories and eliminating those labels.
Based upon the conversations I've witnessed, her friends don't think about her leg at all. It never comes up. I feel like it's the same as us - once you know who she is, you don't think about her leg. It's such a small part of who she is.
DeleteI have a beautiful niece, adopted from Korea, who walks with a limp from Cerebral Palsy. I've been with her in public countless times. I see most people ignore her beautiful face and hair, and look at the limp. She has many stories besides that limp, so I understand exactly what you just wrote. I hope that your daughter has many around her that want to really know her stories, and understand that she is more than "the girl with the leg". There's a lesson for all of us here, Michele. Thanks for giving it!
ReplyDeleteThis slice gives me so much to think about, so thank you for sharing. I think that, unfortunately, it is natural to label people. The important thing is that she knows what everyone who loves her thinks of her. I think that we too often forget to tell the people we love that they are hard-working, determined, loyal.
ReplyDeleteSo interesting. I wonder what we would find out, even taking it a step further. Not just about people we meet on the street, but people we will never meet world's away from our places. What's your story? I'm going to think about it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a though provoking post, Michelle - it's amazing how people zoom in on one dimension only, when each person is such a rich collection of "stuff".
ReplyDeleteSuch a though provoking post, Michelle - it's amazing how people zoom in on one dimension only, when each person is such a rich collection of "stuff".
ReplyDeleteYour words brought a tear to my eye. This is so true! It's also something to remember about our students. We need to learn their stories too. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteYour words brought a tear to my eye. This is so true! It's also something to remember about our students. We need to learn their stories too. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this post. What a powerfully written reminder to find the stories and see the full person.
ReplyDelete